The Ironing is Delicious

So let me get this straight: you're Muslim, you own and operate your own TV station whose modus operandi is to counter myths about Islam/Muslims, aaaaaannnnnnd you beheaded your wife?

Hmm. He might as well have hijacked a plane and flown it into his house while his wife cooked dinner.

Sidenote: is this picture not the awesomest dog-Halloween costume in the history of the world?

Hmmm

Ok so I'm really stoned right now and just had an out loud conversation with myself about whether or not I find Gwenyth Paltrow attractive or not.

I mean, is she? Certainly she's relatively attractive. Like, if I were at a bar and she was giving me the "vibe", would I fatciprocate? I'm really not sure. That movie where she's really a fat chick, but Jack Black thinks she's skinny because he's hypnotized by that dude with a huge head... wait. Oh, right, in that movie when she's skinny I actually think she's sorta hot. But then every picture or something I see in a magazine or online I never think she's hot.

Ok, time to eat.

Confusion

It's Sunday morning, so my brain is functioning at half capacity due to the myriad intoxicants that were entered into my bloodstream last night. That said, while drinking coffee I got caught up in Forrest Gump on HBO.

This movie famously beat out the greatest movie of all time, The Shawshank Redemption, for Best Picture in 1994. If anyone took the Academy Awards seriously, this might piss me off more, but as it is, it just simmers as simply "bullshit" in my mind.

The older I get, and the more often I see this movie, the more I think it totally sucks balls. It's a movie about a half wit who continually gets lucky, somehow bangs a chick with AIDS, has a kid, yet doesn't get AIDS, and ends up living well the rest of his life. I really couldn't be more confused.

I'm back, fuckers

I took a few months off, sue me. I was inspired by my buddy who opened up his own blog (replete with several spelling errors, so those who take the English language seriously, you'll have to avert your eyes).

Anywho.. in the spirit of fatness, I felt it my duty to bring to your attention the Bacon Explosion. It's old news to those of us in the bacon-know, but since ol' Fatboy here hasn't posted in a while, I figured what better way to kick things off again.

What's awesome here is that it has its own Wikipedia page. You are bigtime if you can say that. It's nice to be back, I will post more often starting now.

What's the score of the 'Wings game?

If I'm a cop and I score weed from some punk after I arrest him, and intend on going home and baking pot brownies with my wife, I *might* want to at least consult the internet to see how many brownies I should be eating. But that's just me.

In case you were wondering...

"When Bert's not Queer..."

Yikes. I'm gonna watch Seasame Street over the weekend to see if there are any rainbow flags hidden anywhere on the Bert and Ernie set. The comment by DollaDollaBill123 at the top is hilarious.

Just when you convince yourself they're gay, there's this.

Fatdance

That's the Fatboy on his first day of school, 1987. Only the cool kids had Alf t-shirts at my school. Curiously, my lunchbox was plain blue. Must not have had my matching Alf one yet.

In reality, the Fatboy, pre-late 90's (and therefore pre-beer) was actually skinny. Maybe this fatboy will be skinny too if he keeps at it.