Don't bring that shit into God's court

Looks like ol' JC has a nasty hook shot, though here it looks like this might be a charge. Hard to tell if the girl in the pink established herself before he got there though.

Everyone knows that if you want to sue God, you deliver the court papers to the Pope. JC finished top of his class at Harvard Law, so you better have a case.

Avoid the Noid

How stoned was the guy that invented this thing?

And since I really don't have anything else to say about the Noid, here's Tom Cruise being self righteous. Perhaps he reminds me of the Noid? Maybe I just like saying, "Noid". Not sure.

I was actually 100% sober while posting this, believe it or not.

Nobel Prize for Fatness

Jesus, you can bet on this shit? How much of a fucking degenerate gambler do you have to be to bet on the Nobel Prize for Literature?

In case you wondered where fat comes from (and no, not pizza, milkshakes or the North Pole). I promise that'll be the last brainy thing ever posted here.

Tea and Strumpets

Well, at least the whores are doin' well. They mention a red light district in New York in this article in a very matter-of-fact tone. I had no idea one existed (honestly), and wonder what the hell else have I been missing? Maybe I just think that a RLD is an actual place. I had no idea whores could think so spatially. Impressive.

Check out the commentary from Ezekiel12 (3rd from top). Asshole is arguing the validity of prostitution being the world's oldest profession. And I thought I had nothing going on...

Count von Fat

Had a dream involving vampires last night for whatever reason. In the dream, the Fatboy here asked the vampiress who was pursuing me why Count von Count from Sesame Street likes to count, and she had no answer. And that was the dream. I was sort of hoping it turned into a sex dream, but I apparently ruined it. Oh well.

Fun fact: His girlfriend's name is Countess von Backwards.

Fat-date

Just an update to something I wrote about a few weeks ago. I'm getting nostalgic... as far as I know, this is the first case of fatboyness to ever make it in front of the highest court in the land.

What the fuck does "medically unfit for capital punishment" even mean? It seems a little specious to me, as if these death row guys are meant to make it past their executions or something. Tom Brady is "medically unfit to play professional football", but as far as I'm concerned, the only way this dude would be "medically unfit for capital punishment" would be if he were dead.

The above pic is funny, it's as if John Roberts pinched Clarence Thomas' ass, but Thomas thinks Stephen Breyer did it.

EDIT: Well, the fatboy died today. Took down quite the final meal too.

Fat-tastic

So The Professor reminded ol' Fatboy here that there has been a decided lack of fatboy content on Fatboy Rides, and I have to say, I agree.

That said, as a tribute to fatness, I just can't go and post any old fatboy stories or content. The material that's chosen has to be carefully sorted and cleansed before being posted, it's my duty as moderator.

Therefore, I give you this. And I promise you this: you will be dumber after having watched.