The Troof

I know what you're thinking. "Fatboy, are you pulling a Michael Jordan on us? Coming out of a forced retirement into baseball because your gambling habit was a threat to your image and the NBA's."

While the veracity of your thoughts are debateable, what is true is that the Fatboy is briefly coming out of fatirement to post some thoughts, as ol' Fatboy here is bored to tears right now.

Over the last however many months off I've had from posting funny pictures with fat commentary interspliced, I've realized some truths (or "trooves" if you prefer).

To wit:

-The Rolling Stone's "Exile on Main Street" is the single greatest album of all time. Any genre, any time period, any trend. Listen to it. Tell it the Fatboy sent 'ya. Of note: The Stones recorded this outside of the UK because they owed more taxes than they could pay. Proof again that taxes can destroy or nearly destroy potential.

-Warren Buffett is a nerd. Obvious, right? Compare him to any of the previous "Robber Barons." There are some real badasses on that list. Tough guys, crooks, vampires. I know, I know, the argument here is just plain specious. I'm using the term loosely, but what is undeniable here is that he's a nerd/dork/geek who is worshipped, and you just don't see that everyday.

-Liev Schreiber is the greatest narrator alive. I will watch anything narrated by him. Even some boring documentary about the Ocean. Usually the Fatboy objects to the trend of Hollywood actors and actresses taking over an industry that doesn't need recognition, but in this case I'm cool with it. So there.

- BP Fucked up. I'm not going to take the hippie stance here and ban off shore drilling forever, or anything, don't worry. But what I can't come to terms with here is the length of time this has taken to sort out. Now, the Fatboy doens't work for Transocean, and doesn't have any degrees in Marine Oil Butt-Plugging, but I have to assume there was a more logical fix, right? Crazy idea here, but couldn't they have gotten a giant hose and hooked it up to the rig and run the hose into a tanker to collect the oil? Maybe I should actually read the details, huh?

- Dennis Hopper is the most overrated person to ever go through Hollywood. Now, everyone knows I'm a seller of Hollywood in general, but this guy... I just don't get it. He fucking sucks. Plays himself in everything (See also: Gary Busey, Tom Cruise, Christopher Walken, Samuel L. Jackson and Kermit the Frog). Yet everyone has a hardon for him now that he's dead. Proving yet again, you can be the biggest douche in the history of Douche and posthumously, you'll be worshipped. Ah human psychology, you're just one step away from being a dog and being happy when someone returns to the room 5 minutes later.

Alright, that's it for now.