Honey is bee spit

It's true. Look it up. That is all.

The Troof

I know what you're thinking. "Fatboy, are you pulling a Michael Jordan on us? Coming out of a forced retirement into baseball because your gambling habit was a threat to your image and the NBA's."

While the veracity of your thoughts are debateable, what is true is that the Fatboy is briefly coming out of fatirement to post some thoughts, as ol' Fatboy here is bored to tears right now.

Over the last however many months off I've had from posting funny pictures with fat commentary interspliced, I've realized some truths (or "trooves" if you prefer).

To wit:

-The Rolling Stone's "Exile on Main Street" is the single greatest album of all time. Any genre, any time period, any trend. Listen to it. Tell it the Fatboy sent 'ya. Of note: The Stones recorded this outside of the UK because they owed more taxes than they could pay. Proof again that taxes can destroy or nearly destroy potential.

-Warren Buffett is a nerd. Obvious, right? Compare him to any of the previous "Robber Barons." There are some real badasses on that list. Tough guys, crooks, vampires. I know, I know, the argument here is just plain specious. I'm using the term loosely, but what is undeniable here is that he's a nerd/dork/geek who is worshipped, and you just don't see that everyday.

-Liev Schreiber is the greatest narrator alive. I will watch anything narrated by him. Even some boring documentary about the Ocean. Usually the Fatboy objects to the trend of Hollywood actors and actresses taking over an industry that doesn't need recognition, but in this case I'm cool with it. So there.

- BP Fucked up. I'm not going to take the hippie stance here and ban off shore drilling forever, or anything, don't worry. But what I can't come to terms with here is the length of time this has taken to sort out. Now, the Fatboy doens't work for Transocean, and doesn't have any degrees in Marine Oil Butt-Plugging, but I have to assume there was a more logical fix, right? Crazy idea here, but couldn't they have gotten a giant hose and hooked it up to the rig and run the hose into a tanker to collect the oil? Maybe I should actually read the details, huh?

- Dennis Hopper is the most overrated person to ever go through Hollywood. Now, everyone knows I'm a seller of Hollywood in general, but this guy... I just don't get it. He fucking sucks. Plays himself in everything (See also: Gary Busey, Tom Cruise, Christopher Walken, Samuel L. Jackson and Kermit the Frog). Yet everyone has a hardon for him now that he's dead. Proving yet again, you can be the biggest douche in the history of Douche and posthumously, you'll be worshipped. Ah human psychology, you're just one step away from being a dog and being happy when someone returns to the room 5 minutes later.

Alright, that's it for now.

Top Gay

Wow, been so long since Ol' Fatness here posted that I had to log in... jesus. Sorry guys. I have no excuse other than pure lasciviousness. The Fatboy gets around, what can I say?

Anyway.. got to watching Top Gun baked the other day, and, as pot tends to do, my eyes were opened to the blatant homoeroticism. Granted, the theory that Top Gun is the Spartacus of our times isn't exactly fresh, but this was the first time I had seen this front to rear in years.

A few particular scenes really hit home-o for me, but one in particular kills me... the shower scene. I'm not going to even link to it it's so gay. So instead, how about a lil' ol' montage.

P.S. This sums it up, even though I hate the fucking guy.
P.P.S. Worth noting that this movie is Fatboy's brother's favorite movie of all time.

The House of Fatpresentatives

Summer recess is over bitches! Ok, let's recap the summer real quick:

- Cash for Clunkers
- Hot
- Ted Kennedy

Ok, that about sums it up. Hmm. Cars, heat and one fat, uppity, self-important blowhard being replaced (possibly) by another! Yay!

Ugh. I know the Professor will love that last part. Speaking of El Professorio, he and El Fat got a little inebriated last week and took down MAC-don-oohs at 10pm. Yes, you read that correctly. I didn't shit for 2 days. Never again.

And, finally, I'd like to bring everyone's attention to David Wright's ridiculous ginormous new helmet, that, apparently is a requirement to wear for minor leaguers. Ooof. I can't wait til they remake a live action version of The Flintstones and ask Dave to play Gazoo! Awesomeness.

Fat,Tuk,Vet,Gordo,Fett,Gras,دهن

Fatty fat fat giggity. Been a while since we really dug into Fatness here, so let's get our fat on. "These hard-hitting, provocative essays set the stage for a new paradigm honoring weight diversity and mark an important moment in the history of social justice." - Linda Bacon

Sorry, but I just don't know if Ol' Fatboy here can take an opinion on the subject of fatness seriously from a woman whose last name is "Bacon". Without knowing a single iota about this woman, I'm guessing what she's trying to say here is that fatness is slobbering its way into our social fabric, a move unprecedented in Fatistory.

Hmm. Mmmhmm. Booo! Ok, so I think Ms. Bacon is onto something. (Real quick sidenote: when i was getting the video I just linked to, I came across this. I am speechless.) Anywho.. it's not hard to find fat stuff and fat references, and general fatness anywhere on the internets. But I think you out there know this. My point? I honestly cannot remember, so instead of getting all deep and stuff, let's just get back to fat. Mmmmm, fat.

The Overbought List

Overbought. It's weird for me to say that, because in Ol' Fatboy's market, "oversold" actually means "overbought" - weird right? The Fatboy works and acts in mysterious ways.

I've been meaning to sling together an epic post here for quite some time, and nothing would make me happier than publishing the first ever Fatboy Overbought List. Ce soir, on chante!

• Will Ferrell: Go away.
• Brad Pitt: See above. You are a terrible actor, and that preview for "Inglourious Basterds" makes me want to fucking toss my TV out the window (and hopefully land on you should you be filming a movie out on my sidewalk).
• Quenten Tarrentino: While we're at it, you suck too. You were only popular because overly violent films is its own genre and what goes around comes around.
• Brett Favre: The king! This guy's like herpes for fuck's sake.
  
• Michael Jackson: Oh, wait, you did go away. I don't think he's "overbought" in the classic sense like those above, I think the coverage of him is. People seem to already have forgotten his weirdness. *Sigh*.
  
• Organic Food: A massive victory for American Cheese everywhere.
• Barrack Obama: I don't care what your political affliations are, you have to be sick of this guy.
  
• Hipsters: I saw a guy whose jeans were so tight the other day, I actually saw the outlines of the head of his penis. I mean, come on. Why can't I see cameltoe on hipster chicks? Makes me hate them more.
  

This will be a recurring post. I mean, Ol' Fatboy hates everything, so a short list like this goes against his nature. I'd be interested to hear comments or suggestions whether it be from my peeps in the Fatboy Circle of Trust, or you other random viewers via the comment feature.

Um, huh?

Been meaning to write about this for a long time. The comments pretty much sum up just about all I have to say about this, so make sure you read them.

I realize we disclaim just about everything as a culture, because we are largely blameless as a culture. I think I generally trust the FDA, but like many people who do what I do for a living, my trust of the government has almost totally eroded. I mean, those fuckers came out a few weeks ago and re-racked their stance on Tylenol for shit's sake! That's why I want the people at Tylenol to also put out an ambiguous, convoluted, mystifying commercial delivered by a hot chick that doesn't really accomplish anything other than confusing me.